Finding Goku
by PianoxForte
Summary: ChiChi is on her deathbed, but she has one final wish. Will her dying wish come true?


Disclaimer: I don't own DB/Z/GT.

A/N: Long story short: I wrote this instead of doing something that I am supposed to be doing. Excuse me while I go bang my head against the nearest wall. :)

* * *

><p><em><strong>Finding Goku:<strong>_

"_It__ is impossible to fall out of love. Love is such a powerful emotion, that once it envelops you it does not depart. True love is eternal. If you think that you were once in love, but fell out of it, then it wasn't love you were in. There are no 'exit' signs in love; there is only an 'on' ramp.__" – Anonymous_

It is springtime. I sit on the front steps of my humble home hidden in the obscurity of Mount Paozu's foliage. A beaten dirt path lies before me, worn by many decades of use. _This is where I matured, _I muse. _This is where my love for him bloomed. _It bloomed like the tulip bulbs that sprout on either side of the path. It is my favorite flower, _his _favorite flower. I plant them every year in commemoration of him.

I sigh and cradle my fatigued head into the gentle embrace of my withered hands. _This is where my children were raised. _I watched them grow up as I watched the pine trees surrounding our home climb ever higher toward the sky. My children had left the nest years ago, decades ago. My Gohan, my scholar-boy had become a man. He had married a lovely, strong wife. They had had a beautiful, spunky daughter. Goten ran a dojo in the city with his long-term girlfriend. They were all happy, which translates into: the visits were becoming more and more seldom.

The dirt path is exactly what it sounds like: a man-made passageway of corroded earth. Though, I swear to the gods that it is glaring at me with as much resentment as a belligerent Vegeta. _'Stop staring at me with those blank eyes, old woman!' _it says. _'I don't want to be here either. Do you think I like being walked on by you? Go find your capricious husband already! Leave me be!'_

I shake my head as if this will clear my muddled thoughts. I have lived here nearly my entire life. I have bloomed here. _Shall I also wither here?_ It certainly seems inevitable now. I realize now that the only time in my life that I've ever grabbed the bull by its horns is when I fought Goku at the 23rd annual World's Martial Arts Tournament. A small smile tugs at my parched lips. _The happiest day of my life. _

I was at my happiest when he was around. I never alluded to it, but when he was gone, I was like a lost puppy. I put on an act for my children. I am a strong-willed woman. I will not let them feel my pain. They shall think that I'm content until my dying day. I put on an act for my friends. I don't need their sympathy and their speculative thoughts. I will never forget the day Bulma told me that I should move on. I will never understand her reasoning. She's known him the longest, but she certainly doesn't know him like I know him.

Goku is akin to a rose. He is beautiful, both inside and out. He is layered with a mystique quality. There are too many petals to count. He is impossible to dislike. To me, he is perfect or as close to flawless as it comes – his only downfall being his naivety and whimsicalness. He is fickle like a rose, beautiful like a rose, and mysterious like a rose. Most of all, he is dangerous like a rose. His thorns slice through my skin and into my soul. I can never escape him, yet, he isn't even here.

A grunt escapes my lips as I struggle to get back up onto my feet. I stand up as tall as I possibly can, but my back still hunches over. _'You know mother,' _Gohan had said apprehensively. _'It's dangerous living out here by yourself. You could take a fall, and nobody would know for days, possibly weeks!' _

I had waved him off as casually as I could muster. _'The day that happens is the day I die,' _I had said with great resolution. The truth is I died a long time ago. The day Goku left with Shenron and vanished into eternal obsureness was the day that my heart truly stopped beating. It may have been but a split-second, but I was never the same after that. Something inside me died, perhaps it was my soul. He just sat up there with that mischievous grin of his. He waved at all of us indistinctively. _'See ya' guys later!' _he called out. It was so easy for him. Perhaps it wasn't though. Perhaps it was a ruse to make us feel better about him leaving us for another adventure – the final adventure. We knew that he would never come back, even Pan knew it. She cried her eyes out. It took years of my persuading for her to forgive him and heal. She doesn't know him like I do. It was difficult to get my point across.

It's hard to explain to people that leaving is what Goku does. It was difficult for me to comprehend at first, but I know now that Goku is a wanderer, and he is simply doing what he does best. I should have known better than to fall head over heels in love with a man that I didn't even know. It is nobody's fault but my own. I can't blame him. I'm a bitter old hag, but I'm not delusional.

Sometimes I catch myself wondering that if I knew how he was from the beginning, would I do things differently? Would I marry him? I know now that I would. I truly believe that we are soul mates. The logical thing to do would be to live life like him: take everything as it comes and live for the adventures in life. I could only live his way if I didn't have children, but I couldn't bear to think of life without my family. _Does it hurt when you don't know any better? Would I regret it?_

The wooden floorboards on my front porch creak and groan in protest as I tread on them toward the front foyer. I can feel that my time is coming. It is residing in my skin, my hair, and my old bones. I can unmistakably see the light at the end of the tunnel. I had thought that once upon a time, I would welcome death, but I no-longer think of it that way. Surely if I died, I would never see Goku ever again.

I shake my head in dismay. "So it's back to square one," I mutter, clicking my tongue at my rash thoughts.

I walk into the living room and I can feel the eyes in the framed family photographs staring me down. They know what I'm about to do. They know that I am trying to cheat life. They know that I'm taking the easy way out. It occurs to me now that Goku would be extremely disappointed in me, but I can't find the decency in myself to care about his afflictions at this particular moment. No, this moment will be _my_ moment. It is time for me grasp my hands around the bull's horns and hold on for the ride of my life!

I stare stoically at the seven orange orbs that I have daintily arranged in a fruit bowl on the dining room table. They are pulsating and glowing. They are so full of life. I can feel the turbulent energy whipping around me in the air. It is light and thick at the same time. It has a kind of yin-yang feel to it. I experience invigoration that I haven't felt in years. I haven't felt this way since I was with him. Kami, how I've missed these afflicting feelings!

I can hear the voices of reason echoing in my head. _'Don't do it, Mom,' _Goten begs. Pan is crying. _'G – Gramma!' _she stammers. _'Mom, you can't go!' _Gohan says resolutely. _'Open your eyes!' _he demands. I wonder… is he chastising me?

I touch a fingertip to my forehead and exhale my collected breath. My temple is hot. It is clammy. _Am I nervous? _I wonder. It's not as if I hadn't planned this all out. I ignore all rationale and I step closer to the mystical orbs.

"Shenron," I whisper under my breath. My hands are supinated as if I'm offering him something invisible. A part of me knows that I'm being rash. I'm well aware of this because I can see my digits trembling more than their usual shakiness. I decide that it's now or never. "I. Summon. You!" I call out, the words bouncing off of my tongue like a staccato.

The spheres burst to life. They are such a bright orange that my eyes are seeing spots. There is a mini tornado in my dining room. A chair goes flying past my left shoulder and crashes into the old television set. I hear the glass screen shatter. Sharp shards of glass bounce on the wooden floor. An icy-cool wall of air slams into my clammy skin. I brace myself to be blown away. I lick my chapped lips with anticipation, but nothing happens. I am glued to the ground. I silently thank Kami for gravity.

The dragon sprouts from the orbs. It reminds me of the flipbooks my children used to make. They would become ecstatic as they flipped the pages and revealed the drawing of a flower growing or a ball bouncing or even a stick person waving. A part of me wants to smile, but this is no time for reminiscing. I realize now that summoning a dragon in your house is not such a brilliant idea. His head crashes through the roof and sends shingles flying everywhere. Somewhere inside the back recesses of my mind, I wonder if one of these shingles is going to become the projectile weapon that kills me.

By some miracle, or perhaps fate, I evade being hit by any of the debris. It is as if I am being protected by an unseen barrier. I am now gazing up in wonderment at the gaping hole in the ceiling. There is a behemoth green, scaly dragon staring back at me. It occurs to me that he appears agitated.

"You who has interrupted my slumber, quickly state your wish!" the dragon says. Shenron's voice booms so loud, I wonder if my children are hearing him right now, hundreds of miles away.

_I wish to forget everything I've ever known! I wish that my mind was a blank slate! I wish that I cannot remember Son Goku! I wish for the loneliness and pain to go away!_

Those are some of the declarations that I may have said. For some reason, my mouth felt glued shut. Perhaps a stray, rusty nail sliced me a moment ago. Maybe I didn't notice. I could have lock jaw. Though, I know that this isn't the case.

The real reason that I'm not talking is because the old gears have started cranking again. I'm thinking of different scenarios. Here I am, standing before the eternal dragon. I could have any wish that I desire, and I'm just going to wish for lousy amnesia? _What the hell! _

_No, I'm going to wish for something better than that! _I decide. _What should I wish for? _I desire more than anything to see Goku again, even if it is the final time. I need to see him because I desperately need closure. I realize that I've left a lot of things unsaid. I know that I never got to say goodbye. His voice travels through the barrier of time. He says, _'See ya' guys later!' _I frown. _Why did he have to be so damn impersonal about it? Am I just one of the guys? No damn-it! I'm his wife!_

It's clear to me now that no-matter the cost, I must see him again! I need to find him! I won't let myself just wither away and die. I must find him! I can't wish him to Earth. I know that will be impossible. I can't wish to be placed where he is either. I am not naïve enough to believe that it will be that easily accomplished. No, I will have to search to the ends of the universe to find someone who can take me to him. _I don't care how long it takes!_ I'm a patient woman. I can do this. There is only one small fault that is holding me back.

I decide right then and there that I am going to find my elusive rose. I am going find him and I don't care if I get thrashed by his thorns.

"I wish to have eternal youth," I bellow. _Now I will be just like you, Goku. _

"Your wish has been granted," the dragon dutifully replies. "So long."

That's when everything becomes a blur. My whole world goes dark. I find myself floating around in an empty space – an abyss so to speak – devoid of any color, any sound, and any source of life. The claws of fear rip through my chest and grapple with my palpitating heart. _What's happening? Am I going to die? _It is clear that something has gone awry. _Damn undependable dragon!_

I'm unclear as to when I finally came to. I was just suddenly surrounded by a bright, golden-hued light. I am now surrounded by puffs of clouds. They are moving around me like they are alive. They are all that I can see in every direction. I myself am whole. I glance down at my hands and tears swell up in my eyes. They are young, vibrant, and flawless. These are _my_ hands. I haven't seen them in so long; it is a foreign feeling to me – seeing them attached to my arms, my blemish free arms.

The moment is ruined by a prodding feeling on my shoulder. A navy blue ogre is poking at my arm. "Move along, lady," he says irritatedly.

His face is so familiar to me. It is on the tip of my tongue. Where have I seen him before? I am struck with a sudden case of anxiety. It occurs to me now that I still have no clue where I am. I frantically glance around my perimeter. My retinas are assaulted with the images of small puffy clouds surrounding every inch of my body.

"Ah!" I shriek, trying to push them away from me. This riles them up. There is pandemonium the likes of which I have never witnessed before.

"Aw shitbucket!" the ogre exclaims suddenly, grabbing me by my bicep and dragging me behind him.

He drags my hysterical self through the mass of clouds. I am so confused and just plain terrified that I'm oddly cooperative and silent. If someone were to describe me with two words, these would be my antonyms.

"Hey boss, this lady is causin' a real stink out there 'cause she has a body. Can we just move 'er along?" the ogre asks with crossed arms.

I glance up at a large, expensive looking, mahogany desk. It is towering over my head like a skyscraper. A gigantic red ogre leans over the front of his desk and appraises me with curious eyes. A spark goes off in my brain. I know who this ogre is.

"King Yemma!" I shout.

"Why yes," he answers with a snarky sounding voice. He points to the name plate on his desk. "That's what it says. What's your name?" he continues, ignoring my huffy response.

"Son ChiChi!" I exclaim. I really feel like giving this rude jerk a piece of my mind.

"Son ChiChi… Son ChiChi…" he mutters, licking his thumb and flipping through an enormous book. His index finger scans down a page and his eyes dart from left to right. "Ah-ha!" he announces. "Son ChiChi, this is your second time being deceased?"

It suddenly dawns on me. "Why the hell am I in other world?" I demand.

"By the Kais…" he mutters in exasperation whilst rolling his eyes overdramatically. "You're dead!"

This shouldn't be news to me, considering the fact that I'm in otherworld and all, but I still let out a gasp of astonishment. I'm still utterly floored by this conclusion. "H – how?" I stammer.

"Let's see…" he murmurs, reading the page's contents yet again. "It says here that the cause of death was old age. Your heart failed. Nothing could be done. Your children and grandchild were with you when it happened. You don't remember any of this?"

My eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. "No…"

"What is the last thing you remember?" he asks curiously.

"I was… making a wish. I had summoned Shenron, the Earth's eternal dragon. I was wishing for eternal youth." I say this as if I am in a daze. I still can't comprehend what is going on here.

King Yemma chuckles. "That's impossible. Shenron no-longer resides on Earth. He left with Son Goku many years ago."

The truth of this hits me like a fresh smack in the face. "Of course!" I exclaim.

"Sometimes when a person loses consciousness before his or her death, there is still enough oxygen in the brain to experience hallucinations. It is like you are dreaming. What you witnessed mere moments ago… it wasn't real," King Yemma explains.

It makes sense to me, but I don't want to believe it. Now I will never see Goku ever again! I've never felt so empty in my entire life… maybe it is because I am dead.

"Just curious," Yemma mutters, "why did you wish for that?"

"So I could find my husband. I was a frail old woman. I needed youth and vitality in order to find Goku," I explain solemnly. "Now I'll never see him again."

"Son Goku, eh… he's a tough person to find if you're in the living world," King Yemma comments. A smile inches its way onto his lips. "But, he visits otherworld all of the time."

"Wha – what?" I exclaim. I suddenly feel as if I've been cheated in a game of cards.

His smile broadens into a smirk. "In fact," he says, "he's standing right behind you."

If it was necessary for my ghostly body to have oxygen, I would have fainted right about now. I gasped and whipped myself around in a flash. "Goku!" I scream at the top of my lungs. The tears are welling up in my eyes again. My eyes are staring right at him, but I can't seem to comprehend that he's actually there. _Is this really my Goku?_

Goku smiles at me and waves his hand. He laughs sheepishly and says, "Long time no see!"

The tears slide down my cheeks and I am overwhelmed with my sobbing. _It's him! It's him! _Any pain or loneliness I have ever suffered is instantly washed away. His arms wrap around my waist like a protective shield and he rubs my back. "It's you, it's really you!" I blubber.

"Of course it's me," he answers. "Who else would I be?"

I laugh and say, "I missed you." All of my thoughts and feelings that have overwhelmed me over the years are collected into those three words. He nods his head and touches my face softly.

"I know," he says. I know that he understands the connotation in my words.

I suddenly pound my fist into his chest. "How come you visit _otherworld_ all of the time and you _never_ found the time to visit _me_?"

Goku scratches the back of his head nervously. "I'm not allowed to visit the living world until I'm finished with my training. It's too dangerous. I wanted to ChiChi, really, I did!"

I feel a great amount of weight lift off of my chest. I'm relieved. "When will you be done with your training?" I ask curiously.

Goku rests his chin on his fist for a moment. "About half a century."

My mouth is agape.

Goku waves his hands in front of his face like white flags. "Don't worry, Chi. Now that you're in otherworld. I can see you all the time! I have no restrictions here. I came the instant I sensed you were here."

I sigh in relief. "Thank Kami," I mutter.

Goku smiles that goofy grin at me. "Anything else you want to say to me?" he asks.

I narrow my eyes at him and cross my arms. There are so many ways I've thought of ripping him a new one. _Oh yeah, you wait and see! You're going to pay for leaving me at the sidelines again!_ "As a matter of fact… I have a bone to pick with you!"

Goku laughs nervously and I can see his body tense up. _Oh, you're not getting out of this one, Mister!_

"Before you say anything," he quickly adds. "I have something I've been meaning to say to you!"

I raise a curious eyebrow at him and I eye him speculatively. "What?" I ask dryly.

"This," Goku announces, cradling my face in his calloused hands and drawing it nearer to him. When his lips meet with mine, an explosion of emotions bursts forth in my brain. I'm swept off of my feet and I instantly forget about everything I was going to say. Oh, how many years have I yearned for this moment? There are too many to count!

When his lips break apart from mine with a soft smacking sound, I groan at him with need. "Goku…" I whine. _Please don't tease me! I don't know how much more I can handle!_

His face is only inches away from my own. I can feel his hot breath wisping against my hungry lips. My nails are clawing into his hair, tugging feverishly at him to rejoin his lips with my own. He's gazing at me as if he is star-struck.

"I love you, ChiChi," he says this as if it is the first time he's said it. It isn't, but it feels new and innocent and I can feel a desire burning up inside of me.

The tears are streaming down my face again. If this is some sick dream, I hope that I never wake up from it! "I'm never going to leave you again, ChiChi. I promise."

_Oh Kami! This has to be a dream! It's too perfect! Please don't wake me up!_

"Oh Goku…" I whisper. "I love you too!"

* * *

><p>AN: Wow! That was mushy! Um… just assume that ChiChi is able to form some sort of solid body when she's dead because she is strong or something… I dunno, I'm too lazy to come up with an explanation. Reviews would be cool. :) MAHOGANY! - if you get that reference, I love you!


End file.
